Day 13: Finding my voice

I have been really stretching myself lately. Figuring out what is best for me and for my family. Letting go of expectations. Speaking out about past abuse. Setting boundaries. Refusing to own other people's feelings (this is SO hard for me... people pleaser and typical peace keeper). It has been terrifying in many ways. I have confronted some of the hardest and scariest situations in the past 4 months or so. But... it is liberating in ways I had not expected. I had never really known before now that I am holding myself to standards that are way too high. Standards that no one can meet. I can't make everyone happy. I can't always do something that is right and it please every person in the situation. And letting go of trying and expecting that... it has helped me key in on the things I find important. Helped me start trying to make decisions based on what is right for... my family. Not for my extended family or friends. Not for my brothers or mom. Because I just can't please them in all of my decisions. I am finding the things that I value. I am learning about what really matters to me and learning how to prioritize my needs and other peoples needs in a way that is more manageable. And all of this is because I am finding a way to express what happened to me and am starting to learn to accept it. I still have lots of work to do. I have to learn how to make and maintain friendships, how to let go of anger, how to forgive people... the list seems pretty endless sometimes. BUT today, I am thankful that I am finding my voice and refusing to be a victim any longer.