18 months strong

Over the course of the last 6 months or so, my Slobber Rocket has been weaning. He is now, with a bit of prodding by mama, nursing only once a day. Generally he nurses between 10 and 11pm because he has the metabolism of a humming bird (or what I assume a humming birds metabolism must be like). Tonight he ate a pretty good dinner so I am going to try and let him sleep through the night without nursing. Not that I am opposed to nursing him by any means but he needs to be fully weaned pretty soon. I have discussed this with SRs speech therapist and we both agreed that SR may be a kiddo who will need a snack right before bedtime so I am also willing to give him a small snack if I need to even after he is weaned.

I am needing to go onto some medications for my allergies and some other health issues I am having that are not compatible with breastfeeding. But what I am discovering is that it is sad. No matter when you wean, it is kind of emotional. I weaned Super Muscles at about 10 months old. I cried the first time he took a bottle. I really wanted to make it to a year with him but there were some things going on and some stresses in our lives at the time and for me, it was easier to wean him then. It worked out fine. But I was a mess. I made my goal of nursing this little guy to a year and then to 18 months. I have accomplished all of my nursing goals including letting him mostly wean himself. I am giving him a last little push because I have to take care of myself now too. But it is still just... so emotional.

Slobber Rocket is easy for me to still see as a baby. Not only is he my youngest and, very likely, my last biological child and nursling but he is the size of a baby still. He is my peanut. He still needs so much help with stuff because of his size (getting onto furniture is a mega frustration for this child). It definitely lends to me treating him way more like a baby than he actually is. He IS gaining independence and a very strong will of his own. I need to start nurturing his growth into a toddler instead of being sad that he is growing up. Nursing has been that sweet time between us when I still feel like he is my little baby. It has given his tiny little body extra calories and lots of fat as we have been struggling with his sensory issues. It has helped me to feel like even when he wouldn't eat, he was getting good nutrients and a more complete diet. And he was! And I am so very sad to see this come to an end.

In a few weeks though when I am on vacation with my husband without my children, I think I will be glad. When I am on 2 new medications that will hopefully help me with some health issues I am having, I think I will feel confident about this. But in the meantime, if you notice me being a little weepy... it is because my baby is growing up too fast.