People don't usually change.

I have been doing a lot of thinking about people lately. And I have realized that no matter how I change or how much I try to make some relationships work... a lot of times people just don't change. Expecting them to is just setting yourself up for more disappointment. And disappointment is what I keep allowing myself to feel when they don't meet my expectations. I am probably not going to have reciprocal relationships with some of the people in my life. I have literally known them my whole life and they haven't changed yet. So it is stupid of me to worry about it. But I just want to feel cared for and like I matter sometimes. I am sure, in some twisted way that I do matter to them. I am just not sure that that is always enough. And I am not sure when I have to quit exerting so much effort while never getting anything in return. I am very exhausted with it all. I guess some things have just been happening in my life that are reconfirming to me who does actually have an interest in me and who only cares when it is convenient for them or serves their own needs. But I am a loyal friend/family member so I would love the same in return. Too bad the people that keep hurting me are undoubtedly NOT people who read my blog. *sigh*.