Concert, surgery, and stubbornness

It wasn't too long ago when I decided to join a book club that was reading the book "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. It was September I suppose because it was before my birthday. I could go back and look but that is irrelevant. What I ended up discovering was a bunch of women that it seems like I have known for years. You hear stories about how peoples lives seem to flow into one another but it is rare that you find the same thing happening to yourself. I know it is rare for me anyway. I only have one friend with whom circumstances has bonded us for life. But I started getting onto the Bloom chat in the evenings after the boys went to bed and Mr. Wonderful was doing his... whatever he does... and I was known. Not things like, "oh they know my favorite color" or  anything superficial that you find yourself revealing on first dates. But all the fears, pains, burdens and past heart ache I have had were matched with this group of women. Women who have been abused, who struggle with anxiety, who feel that because of their past they are not valuable... and ultimately women who are working through those same issues with the help of God and faith and learning to trust again.

It has been a great experience for me. A hard one too. I have been challenged to open up about my past a bit. I still don't remember a lot of things about my childhood (I will assume that is a good thing) but I am learning that my story has a meaning and a purpose. My experiences can be used to encourage people and to share some heavy burdens. It's just that... in life, empathy is rare. So if you have a level of empathy for a certain set of experiences, you need to share that. It is a gift in a way. And I am slowly learning that. I am thankful for my Bloom friends for helping to teach me so much recently.

But that brings me to the concert! Tomorrow I am going to go to a Selah concert in Ft. Wayne, Indiana with a hand full of my Bloom friends. We finally get to meet face to face! Well, some of us! I am very excited about this. They should feel special that my half deaf self is going to a concert with them. :)

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I have surgery on Tuesday. My friend, Jen, keeps asking if I am nervous. I am mostly not nervous unless I dwell on it and then I get a twinge of nerves. I most feel sympathetic toward my husband who has to be awake and waiting for a 2.5-4 hr surgery to be completed inside of my head. I know getting whatever that is in my ear out is going to be beneficial to my health. So it is one of those things where you kind of look forward to it in some ways. Mr. Wonderful summed it up well... even if I lose my hearing in my right ear, if it ends the chronic and horrible pain I have been living with for years... it is going to improve my life. So that is how I am choosing to look at it. Plus, a hearing aid isn't the end of the world!

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My Slobber Rocket is a stubborn little turd. He is still refusing to eat many foods. He has made some minimal progress in drinking from a cup but mostly he doesn't care to mess with texture and he refuses to eat if I make him try new textures. He will get it eventually though. Tomorrow is going to be rough on him but he is going to have to drink something other than breast milk throughout the day while I am away from him. Thankfully it won't be for *that* long and he is eating enough solids and will take sips from a cup so he will be okay until I get back to him. Then he will nurse 5 times through out the night I am sure. Daddy will at least have some milk to put him to bed with but who knows how that will work. We shall see!