I am here...

but I am not here. I have been deep in thought this week but haven't been able to put most of it into words. Maybe at some point I will be able to. I have been confronted with some things that just haven't been a part of my life before. I am turning to prayer to deal with it.

I have never felt so pulled to prayer until this last year or so. I had an internet friend whose little boy was born in a very bad situation. She was attempting a home birth and something went very wrong. She raced to the hospital and her son was born with some very big complications and had a pretty dismal outlook for the future. But she asked me to pray for him. And I did... I would wake up every night, multiple times a night with an urge in my heart to pray for her and her little boy. It was unreal the pulling I felt toward prayer. I have had an isolated instance of this before but nothing like I was experiencing. Every single night I would be forced out of sleep to pray. Every day, this little boy consumed my thoughts and I prayed for him. And he was healed. And then when I was pregnant with Slobber Rocket and found out about Stellan, again, I was lifted out of sleep to pray for him. And... he made it through his moms pregnancy and is a beautiful 8 mos old boy right now who was not supposed to live. Do I think my prayer alone helped to heal these kids... I don't know. But I know that God says prayer is powerful and the implication that I get from the Bible is that prayer is effective on many levels from giving us peace to healing the sick.

I guess I bring this up because recently I have been drawn back to my knees to intercede for many of my friends and that is one of the reasons I have been scarce (oh and I pulled a muscle in my neck and can hardly move my head). But this last week has been so rough around my neck of the woods. I have had many friends get news of deteriorating health of their loved ones. We have gotten this news as I said in my last entry but I can think of 4 friends in the last week who have been presented with rough news about their loved ones. I hate to see the suffering. And, honestly, right now I am hurting with two of my friends and all I have to turn to to help is prayer. I guess sometimes you feel so inadequate in life but as I get older I realize that I really can be there with and for my friends even when I can not BE there. Eh, I am not sure that this makes a lot of sense but this is just what I happen to be thinking about right now. I guess I will close with one of my favorite verses that helps me get through a lot in life:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7).