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I was just reading a message board I visit frequently called 'hot topics' on Babyzone. The discussion was about Sex Ed in school. The banter, as usual, goes back and forth between those who think abstinence only is the way to teach children and that kids need to have all available information on sex and how to make good choices (you know, Birth control, condoms, STDs, watching women writhe in pain through labor).
One woman was recounting a story that just made me crack up. She said that her high school sex ed teacher told their class that there was a 'secret' way to avoid pregnancy and it only cost a penny. The girls in the class were really curious at this and asked the teacher what she was talking about and she said "Take a penny, put it between your knees, and keep it there!"... bwahaha... that cracked me up.
All I know is what was done with me and how I interpreted the information given to me. My mom always answered any and all questions I had about sex simply and truthfully, I had sex education, and I personally valued my virginity. I was a virgin until I got married. The way things were handled with me worked out perfectly. I don't anticipate an abstinence only mantra in our home either. I will tell my children my beliefs about marriage and sex and I will always answer their questions honestly (that is why my 3 yr old knows that girls pee out of a urethra... though when he says it, it sounds like "Aretha"). I hope to have an open dialogue with my children where they can ask me anything and know without a doubt that I will be honest with them. I will tell them about birth control and std prevention and I will tell them any and all details about childbirth they want to know. I also plan to teach them the emotional and social ramifications of having sex before you are ready (which means married to me). Ultimately it is up to my children to determine their own morals. I pray for them all the time. That they love God and value the things He values. I also pray that their father and I set great examples for them as parents (which on this particular issue, we have). And, if they are REALLY lucky, I might tell their girlfriends to hold a penny between their legs :)
I also wanted to add... I don't care if sex ed is in school or not. We need to take back moral education from schools and begin to teach our children ourselves. Letting the school teach everything hasn't turned out too well for my generation in my honest opinion...
So, if you want to share, how do you plan to teach your children?
3 comments:
Hello! :)
Teaching "Abstinence Only" isn't about being dishonest about sex or trying to make your kids never talk to you about it. Rather, it is about teaching our children the benefits of having sex within a faithful marriage relationship. For me and my children, this will include a discussion on contraception and its unreliability, as well as the emotional ramifications of premarital sex.
Those who teach "safe sex" encourage sex outside of marriage. This is not the message I want to teach because it goes against what I believe. I don't know how we can say that we want our kids to remain abstinent, but we're gonna hand them condoms and birth control just in case. Isn't that sending a mixed message?
All that being said, the best I can do is teach my beliefs to my child. Sex will be much much more of a decision between them and God, just as it was a decision between me and my husband and God to remain virgins until marriage.
Mmm, I agree with Mama2 that teaching abstinence only isn't avoiding sex conversations, but I disagree with her that those who teach safe sex encourage sex outside of marriage.
I think by teaching safe sex, people get a clear idea that no amount of safety techniques can keep you 100 percent safe from everything (pregnancy, STDs -- even heartbreak), so that when someone decides to have sex (regardless of his or her marital status) they have not only a personal understanding of the physical health ramifications, but have given the psychological ramifications strong consideration.
What I think the important aspect of the conversation regardless of what your parenting plans is that children feel comfortable enough to talk to their parents about such an important decision and that parents also approach their children with information rather than waiting for children to come to them. Open communication, trust and dialogue -- whatever your personal beliefs are -- will help keep your children safe and help them to make the right decision regarding how they treat their own bodies as well as how they treat the bodies of the people they love.
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