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I know that everyone thinks of hard questions. Whether it be about their beliefs or suffering in the world or mortality or... I know the must. It isn't something that people really talk about a lot but, what the heck, honesty is a lens into someones true soul (or something like that) right?
So I am going to put out there some things I have been thinking about. Feel free to comment, think or do nothing. This is for me but maybe it will help someone else too.
I have been thinking a lot about beliefs and God and suffering lately. I became a Christian when I was in 3rd grade. I did not grow up in a Christian home but in 3rd grade I started walking to a church down the road from my house with my brother. And that church family took us in. Then I went to church camp that summer and while there decided to become a Christian. But there is just SO MUCH I don't get about religion. Even more that I don't get about God and suffering. I think these are normal thoughts though and people just don't really talk about them. My husband and I discuss them often though. I just don't understand God as portrayed by most of my friends. Who controls absolutely everything which ultimately makes Him responsible for the good, the bad and the ugly. The general line of reasoning being that God controls everything so everything must be a product of God's will. And if everything is a product of God's will then the horrible things that happen in life are actually good things. They have a good and Holy purpose. ... I have a hard time with that whole line of thinking. I have tried to accept it but I can't. I have experienced senseless thing after senseless thing in life. I have seen suffering that makes NO sense. I know children with illnesses that will kill them before they even get a good shot at life and I know their parents and the agony they experience just trying to live life with this knowledge and give their kids the best chances at life that they can. I know people who have been abused and raped and molested and beaten up by several people and left by spouses and abandoned by dads and moms and ignored by the parents they have who are present. I can think of a million things that are senseless and I just don't get it. And I don't get clinging onto the idea that God causes and/or controls all of life's happenings. Jesus himself prayed that God's will be done on earth as it is in Heaven... which indicates to me that this world contains anything but God's perfect and flawless will for man.
What got all of this stirred up is a book I am reading called "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. It is actually quite a good read but I disagree pretty strongly with some of her theology (well... that isn't saying much because I am not sure I agree with most people's theology). Anyway I am to the part of the book where she is trying to learn to be thankful for the bad. And it just... it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. I get looking back and being thankful for the lessons the bad has taught you but to be thankful for senseless, horrible things... that is an interesting concept for me. I am not thankful that I have a chronic illness. In fact, I am annoyed by it. I am also not very appreciative that I tore my ACL again and may never be able to play several sports that I love.
But... that is where I differ from many I guess... I am okay with being irritated and frustrated and even angry about bad things happening. I feel no compulsion to be thankful for horrible, painful experiences. No obligation. Because I just don't think God hurts people as a matter of bringing Himself glory. I think that the world is full of crap and sometimes that crap lands at my feet. PEOPLE make horrible choices that end in lives destroyed. Natural disasters happen as freak occurances. Kids play dangerous games and die. Genetics are a crapshoot and some people get the unlucky end of them. And some things are beyond senseless! Abusing children, rape, murder, (some... or most) war, illness... anyway,... I feel okay with things being the way the world turns with no one in particular to blame. It makes me sleep a little easier at night not thinking God causes all the pain of the world.
Now I don't think that learning from pain is bad. In fact, I think we can learn through horrific experiences. It has taken some pretty terrible things in my own life for me to learn how to handle certain things or to speak for innocence or to mature. I think everyone experiences that. And I do think that God helps reveal things we can learn that maybe we wouldn't otherwise (though EVERYone learns from the past... painful or awesome).
Wow this is long and rambling but I wanted to get it down because it was eating away at my mind. I get fixated on things sometimes and just have to get them out so I can shelf the thoughts for a little while.
3 comments:
The Bible is very clear that evil does not come from God. But God does allow evil to exist, to happen. A lot of horrific things happen in this world because of sin and Satan. The question then becomes "Why would a loving God allow such a thing?" He says many times throughout scripture that He uses even awful, sinful things for our good. We just don't get to see the big picture until the end.
One example is Job: Satan threw all kinds of horrible things at Job, but it didn't mean God wasn't in control. He allowed it and His aim for Job through that was compassion and mercy.
Another example is Esther: She went through humiliation and defilement in her marriage to the king, but when the Jews were on the verge of being slaughtered she stepped up and saved God's people. We get to see the end of her story and how that worked for her good and the good of those she saved, and ultimately God's glory.
Hope this helps in some way. I agree that it's super frustrating to be on this side of things, the not seeing or understanding or making sense of suffering. Please don't fall into thinking God is the cause of these things or that God is a wimpy being who sits on the side lines and wishes He was sovereign.
Lots of thoughts on this! :) Thanks for sharing your heart. I think you and I have some similarities as far as the sufferings that we have been dealt, but I think we have chosen to respond to them in completely different ways. My thoughts have come as a result of lots of biblical counseling to help me retrain my mind based on biblical truth. It is HARD work, and many of these thoughts are hard to maintain in the heat of suffering, but I hope you consider them, friend.
1. The gospel must be at the center of our response to suffering. When you really consider what we have been saved from through Christ's death, suffering in this life seems more bearable. We deserve hell and eternal separation from God, yet in His kindness He gave us Christ as a substitute for our sins. The world tells us that we deserve an easy life. However, His grace is enough for us. Would we rather have His favor through Christ taken away or our suffering in this life?
2. God doesn’t expect us to be fake and say, “Yay, suffering!” He does desire for us to have joy in what the suffering can produce in us or how we can use it to spread the gospel. Two verses that illustrate this:
*[3] More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, [4] and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, [5] and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
(Romans 5:3-5 ESV)…notice it doesn’t say rejoice for suffering but rather in suffering.
*[2] looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
(Hebrews 12:2 ESV)…Jesus was not “excited” about being on the cross, but he did it for the “joy that was set before him.”
3. God is indeed sovereign, not Satan. That is all over scripture. We have to remember that we are “living on the edge of eternity”. Suffering in this life is meant to point us to Christ. This life is not meant to be happy all the time. It brings me GREAT comfort that nothing is random and everything has a purpose, even when it hurts so bad! Knowing Christ and making Christ known is worth the hurt!
*[2] And you shall remember the whole way that the LORD your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not.
(Deuteronomy 8:2 ESV)…God LED the Israelites into suffering for a purpose!
4. Suffering reminds us we need Christ! Favorite verse through all my recent “suffering”:
[9] But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. [10] For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
(2 Corinthians 12:9-10 ESV)
Anyhoo, I am praying for you. Not that you will come on board with my “opinion” but that Scripture will become more alive to you. Like I said, I’ve had to retrain my mind and still struggle daily, but I am so thankful that all of this is temporary. Come, Lord Jesus, come!
Check out Phillip Yancey's book Reaching for the Invisible God. He deals with the issues you raise on a very deep, extremely insighful, and personal level.
The Preacher Man
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