Lesson Learned

I have spent a lot of time thinking about faith and religion lately. I think often about the parts I love about it and the parts that are less than desirable. I love God. I love community. I love the principles of the Bible (loving God, loving others, selflessness are among the tops...). And there are other aspects of faith that I love. The comfort having belief in God provides me with. The feeling that bad things are being used for God's glory even when I don't get why in the heck they happened.


There are also quite a few things that I can't stand about religion. This is more about religion than it is about faith and belief. But I think those go hand in hand in perception, if that makes sense. I don't like hypocrisy. I can't stand how segregated most American churches are (seriously... all white, all Chinese, all black, all Korean are just some of the examples in my own community). I want to go to church and see lots of beautiful faces from all walks of life. I don't like judgmental churches or the fact that many people feel judged or put down because they know what I believe. I am not a fan of people who spend their time becoming media spectacles and give other, very good people bad names. And I certainly and heavily don't like that it seems so many churches are not really doing anything in the community to take care of the poor, widowed and orphaned. I don't like these things because they don't represent... me. They also don't represent God.


And as I go through all the stuff I am dealing with right now, it makes me really question what I believe and why I believe it and how I believe it and how I live it and where I live it. It makes me wonder about the importance of community within church. Sometimes I feel kind of like a lost little kid at church. Trying to just figure out what it all means. Why aren't churches, for the most part, REALLY helping people? What is it going to take for people to stop plodding through life at their social club churches and actually get out there and make a difference. To change the perception that Christians preach a lot of good values but don't follow through on those values. I get frustrated with that. And the perception is there because really, how many churches are helping people in real and tangible ways. People no longer think of a church being the first place they can go if they have no shelter or food.


This is part of me though. I live in a world stuck between ideals and reality. I cling to the ideals hard core and mourn the reality. It is very hard for me to see something as okay if it doesn't meet my ideal. And I always feel so... unsettled with religion and church. I have been listening to a new song a lot lately called "I Refuse" by Josh Wilson. This is where the lesson comes in... God has called me to move. I can't wait for everyone else to do what I am supposed to be doing on my own. And each one of us individually has to decide that before the world sees God move collectively through churches. It is not the Churches heart that is to blame. The church is a bunch of people who love God coming together to function collectively, right? So if I am not loving God and doing what he has called me, alone, to do (because obedience is an expression of love so I can at least say I fail to fully love God even if I try hard)... that is on me and it is something I need to work on. I need to work on better exemplifying the Love of God to others. I need to be the one out there taking care of the people I can take care of and help and love. I guess what I am saying is that... I know God's basic will for man. I do not even try to attempt to act like I know what God's will looks like in anyone's own, individual life. But I do know that God's will is made clear on a few things. We need to love God and love others. I have heard it said once that if you are loving God and loving others you can't be sinning. It makes sense to me that if I am pursuing both of those things it would be difficult for me to be too wrapped up in things I shouldn't be focusing on. Jesus spoke over and over again about taking care of the widows, poor and orphans so I know that is God's will. I just gotta stop expecting other people to do things I am supposed to be doing myself. I have to jump in and contribute with my own hands and feet and my own money and my own talents. Conviction.

Anyway, here is the song...