Busy and running

Mr. Wonderful left on Sunday for what I lovingly refer to as a "nerd conference". Yes, if you haven't already noticed the pattern, he goes to quite a few of these a year. So every single moment of my time has been occupied with some very excessively needy children this week. We all miss Daddy. He comes home today though! So we have been going to parks and bowling and to VBS this week to just try to wear out my crazy energetic 4 year old so he would sleep well at night and not cry and fuss. It has worked pretty well and thank goodness! I imagine this weekend is going to be very chill with us just spending lots of time together. It is HOT here in central IL but I have to get some runs in too.

Running is becoming so therapeutic for me and not being able to run for a week has made me a little grumpy. There is just something comforting about only being able to hear your heartbeat, breath and thoughts. The endorphins, the adrenaline, the progress. It is a feeling that you are finally doing something for yourself. It is healing for me to be able to have time to myself to just think and focus on... me. Not me as a mom or a wife. Not me as a that girl with a complicated family or a hurting heart scarred deeply from the past. But. just. me. I can get out the emotions or I can dream or I can just concentrate on my body getting stronger and changing. I can set goals that I CAN accomplish. I know I can accomplish them and that it is only a matter of time before I am stronger and faster and running longer. It never seems hard or complicated. When I get anxious, I can run and run and run and run some more and feel all the tension and stress leave my body. It may come back when I stop running or when I get into the car to drive to counseling but for a little while before something big... I feel half way normal again.

It really is one of those things you think people are a bit psycho about. ha! Who LIKES running? Running can be painful and its boring (it was for a while, I have huge focus/concentration issues). But I have stuck with it and found it to be comforting and familiar and even... enjoyable. Go. Figure. Oh and I can run bases much faster. Just sayin' ;). So if you have thought about it but thought again and changed your mind OR if you have started it and then hated it... I think you should try it again. Try it for a month before you decide. But even if it is not for you, find something that is for YOU. Take care of yourself.