The ear saga...

So... LONG ent appointment today. 2+ hrs. I didn't really find out anything new. My eardrums don't work. I have mild hearing loss. My Eustachian tubes are stupid (they do NOT work). And so far we don't know why and/or have not come up with a medication combination to help. The current theory is that my allergies are so bad that the nasal inflammation and sinus issues are causing my E tubes to be pinched shut (basically, I guess). So my sinuses and nasal passages are always swollen and they push up against the tubes in my ears that are supposed to regulate the pressure and help get fluid out of my ears. The one in my right ear seems to be completely blocked and the left ear is mostly blocked.

Before this trip I was taking zyrtec, asmanex, and fluticasone (a nasal steroid spray) plus my albuterol inhaler when I needed rescue help for my allergies/asthma. My ears are still not better even with all this medication that should be helping my allergies. The thing is my allergies don't seem to be horrible this season (yet... oh how I love the peak of ragweed season though. It is about to be upon us with fury too). But my passages are still very swollen. At any rate, Dr. Y says there is nothing dangerous going on with my ears and we certainly have time to try things to see what will work best so for now he added another medication, singulair, to my every increasing lists of medications. He also did a RAST blood test to confirm or disprove that my body has an IgE reaction to corn and rice. I have had skin reactions to those foods before but I have eaten them my whole life. So I have been wanting to see if it may make my immune system and allergies better if I cut them from my diet. But corn is very hard to get rid of so I want to double check the allergy test. If both the skin test and RAST say I have those allergies, I definitely need to see if I can cut them out of my diet.

Anyway, the short answer is we are guessing that the problem is my allergies. There are some other issues we are hoping just go away (tinnitus the static in my ears, the clicking adn vibrating) as we correct the swelling that is messing up my E tubes. But this is just a guess at what is going on. So I guess I wait a bit longer and see if the new medication helps. If not, back to the dr for more practicing of medicine on me... love the guess work. The good news is it is not dangerous and we have time to figure out what is causing the E tubes to malfunction. So I am going to roll with it. I am not convinced it can be fixed because the problem has been very chronic and my hearing is still not normal but I can live with it for now until we get it figured out. I am very thankful that so far it seems to be just a really annoying problem to have and thankful for my doctor who is trying to help me even if I find the process incredibly slow :)

Who do I think I am?

(me and SM,... I was trying to get him to NOT be afraid of the camera at sears)

That is a good question... most of the time I wonder the same thing.

I LOVE the color orange, playing sports, children, learning, growing, trying new foods. I have anxiety about my children and about driving. I don't trust many people because my past leads me to believe most people aren't worth trusting, especially not with anything as precious as my kiddos. I am compassionate and considerate, shy, hard to get to know. I am kind. If you get into my world I will do anything for you. I value education, kindness, and respect. I am non-confrontational most of the time but have a quick temper about a few things. I sometimes lack patience with adults but I am generally patient with children. I dislike rap but like most other music. I love to talk to old people. I think most people have entitlement issues and sometimes I fall into the category of "most people". I wish my hair was blue again. I can only think of 2 people that really know me well and I am married to one of them. I love being a wife and a parent. I prefer doing thing with my children over making sure the house is flawless which is why my house is anything but flawless. I really like mexican and I love cooking for my family. I love to plan surprises especially for my hardworking husband. We have a stupid dog who eats everything and even though I picked her out, she annoys me (Super Muscles tells us "the dog is obnoxious"). I am content with having my needs met 99% of the time which is good since we are poor. I am scared to put SM into preschool even thought I think he could use the social interaction. I miss my best friend all the time, she needs to move into the house across the street instead of living in another state. I remember very random information and it has proven handy a couple of times.

Random facts about me are great but they don't get to the heart of who I am. And that is something I struggle with figuring out daily.

I passionately want to be a great wife and mother. I want to raise my children in a home filled with love and God. I want to be an example to them of a woman who genuinely tries to put Gods will above her own. I don't want to force a religion on them but I do want to show them my principles and values in the way I act and speak with them.

I want to help others. I don't know how. I am not sure what that will look like in my life but my heart longs to be influential and helpful to others'.

I want to be a friend who can be sought for advice and who gives good, sound, loving, godly advice.

I deeply care about others and am a very empathetic person. I hurt for my friends when they hurt. I hurt for people I don't know sometimes. This is a part of myself I really like. It spurs me to pray for people.

I guess those are the biggest things I strive for right now.