Do people care if you are "real"?

I was talking to a friend about Christmas letters the other day and we were having a bit of a back and forth trying to figure out what people want from them. Do you sugar coat life so you have an upbeat letter? You obviously can't focus on all the problems because that would be just... downright depressing. You can sprinkle in trials and try to keep it upbeat but I don't know if people want that either. And this has gotten me going down a path of thinking about what people want or expect of us.

I think so many times, people really don't want us to be "real" in life. They ask us how we are doing but they don't actually care. Telling them about the good things leaves them uncomfortable and telling them about the bad does the same thing. Maybe in a different way but you either seem prideful or pitiful at the end of the conversation if you do either of these. But people sure talk like they want the real story. I don't understand it. Why even ask someone how they are doing? I find that there are only a few people in my life that genuinely want to know how I am doing. The friends who want to know struggles and successes and everything in between I am realizing are so rare and precious. I am glad that I have a few people in my life who care. And I guess I will try to stumble awkwardly through the multiple situations where I try to guess how much the people who don't care actually want to know.

I miss my husband... a lot. I mean, some people make good use of a break from their spouse and don't miss a major beat but I feel pretty lost without mine. I am SO tired taking care of the boys alone. They are proving to be challenging in new ways since their daddy left. I appreciate Mr. Wonderful a lot. He is an involved and caring partner and dad and I can't wait to see his sweet face on Monday. We got a postcard from him today and Super Muscles was beside himself excited. I am hoping I can push through the next few days without getting too bummed. I feel very overwhelmed and upset tonight. Just a lot going on and we usually cuddle up in bed and talk about stuff every night.

I think I need to stop before I reveal too much that you all don't REALLY want to hear ;) I am off to bed because I feel like I haven't slept in days or something.

Oh yea, my thought process is totally not coherent tonight and I don't even care... so there!