kind of bummed today

Today I am feeling kind of down. I don't know if I can accurately explain it but I will try. I am shy... no, really... I am. I know people don't think that about me sometimes because once I get to know someone I talk a lot. I am also in a stage of life that I don't find many people in around here. I am a young (23) parent of two boys who is finding it difficult to make friends. I have one friend here that I know that I know that I know I can count on if I ever need something. She is the same friend who I actually trust to watch my children. I don't have family close. I have church but... again, not many people in our boat. Not do discount the friendships I have through church and how amazing the church we go to is. But I still feel... lonely. I have lots of people who are more than willing to do things with me and my children but I haven't really clicked with many people here or found a group of close friends who I can call when I need someone to help cheer me up.

The kicker... I know a lot of it is my fault. I am hesitant to meet people and to open up. I don't trust people very easily. And I don't like to admit that I sometimes need help with my children.

I have tried to change this about myself so many times. I am just not sure how to make it stick. But if I don't open up and make some friends, I imagine I am going to feel this way for however long we have left here then for however long we are in a new place, etc.